Mindful Language: How to Talk About Suicide the Right Way

Public discourse around suicide has opened up considerably in recent years. Yet there’s still a long way to go when it comes to discussing this traditionally taboo topic. 

According to Dr. Jodi Gold, a psychiatrist and director of The Gold Center for Mind Health and Wellness, people shouldn’t be afraid to talk about suicide out of fear that it might encourage someone to go through with it. “Talking about suicide does not cause people to kill themselves,” Dr. Gold told CNN’s New Day. “Not talking about suicide might.”

But what’s the best way to talk about a topic that so many prefer to avoid altogether? You can start with looking at the language you use when discussing suicide.

You may have noticed that lately, the term “commit suicide” has been largely replaced with phrases such as “died by suicide” or “lost to suicide.” This evolution in language isn’t by accident. Instead, it reflects changing views that indicate a growing understanding and compassion for mental health issues.

The use of the word “commit” when discussing suicide traces its roots to a time when suicide was considered a criminal act or sin, with many of those misperceptions stemming from religious beliefs. As such, “commit” carries with it a sense of guilt, blame, and illegality. This outdated terminology perpetuates a stigma that can cause people struggling with suicidal thoughts to feel even more isolated. It can also deter them from seeking help.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention recommends using phrases like “died by suicide” or “ended their life.” These terms convey the same information about the stark reality of a life lost — but without the judgment or blame. Instead, such terms portray suicide as a consequence of mental illness, which it often is, rather than a criminal act.

While this simple word choice may seem subtle, it holds enormous weight, especially for family and loved ones left behind. Consider the difference between saying someone “committed suicide” versus “died by suicide.” The former feels accusatory, as if you’re pointing a finger at the person and holding them solely responsible for their death. The latter, however, recognizes the person’s death as a tragedy and acknowledges that many factors, often beyond their control, contributed to the end of their life.